Friday was a really good day.
I found out the tumor in my head is more bean-sized than golf ball-sized. It's quite possible that I won't have surgery to remove it. And I have a lot of really amazing doctors contributing to the treatment plan.
Fear more often than not involves something unknown. Even if you're afraid of something you know will hurt, once you know how bad it hurts, you can grit your teeth and deal with the pain. (Or you can scream. Screaming is good if you support it properly. In any case, it's not something you have to fear anymore. You can choose to, but choosing to fear something is different altogether.)
Indiscriminate information can be a dangerous thing. Doing research on my own to prepare myself for the worst made me pretty anxious. Now, after the uncertainty of the last few weeks, I finally have some answers. What a relief that is! There are still questions left to investigate and things left to endure, but it's not nearly as bad as it could be.
I could be living with this the rest of my life, so I've thought about naming the tumor George. Nameless things usually inspire more fear. It's not a done deal, though. The thing in my head is not so much a foreign body deserving of a separate name as it is an overly exuberant creation of my own body.
"Sweet is the peace the Gospel brings..." and this was certainly "Good News."
George is too stalwart a name; it implies sturdiness and reliability. Your tumor needs a wimpy name with connotations of having lack of strength and a fickle composition.
ReplyDeleteMy dad has a very large arachnoid cyst on his brain, and the resulting pressure causes terrible headaches. I have watched him live with this for my entire life, so I have some sympathy for what you're going through. You are absolutely right. Once you know what is wrong, it isn't really scary any more, and you can move on to dealing with it in the best way possible. I hope things start to look up for you. I know there are a lot of people thinking of you and wishing you well.
ReplyDeleteGeorge is my daughter's cats name .. I don't like him and I don't like this tumor either, so George is a fine name!
ReplyDeleteOh gosh Trent, I just learned of this stuff just now reading the FB post made by Chris. As I told him you both a very strong and being together through this is like double the fight! Keep your faith, God must think you're very strong too to put you through a toughie like this! It's stinky but there is a reason.. so honey know you are loved & supported by many. My prayers, love and positive thoughts I send <3
I think George is fitting. (Think of the weakling cad George Costanza!) Though, I also think Hyde or Gollum might do as well. ;-) Love you! Keep us posted, Cuz.
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