The following is a Facebook message I sent to a longtime acquaintance of mine who came out to me and asked me for my views. It's both a snapshot of where I was in life at the time and a concise expression of what has helped me chart my course over the last three years:
Dec. 4, 2008
D----,
This sounds like a phone conversation screaming to take place! I would love to talk to you about your experiences and your feelings! That will not stop me from writing a little, though.
It's been nine years since I finally decided what I was doing in life wasn't working. I'd been fighting my nature since I was very young, and one day I realized how much energy I was expending to the detriment of other areas of my life. I also realized that no matter how hard I fought, I would always be facing this struggle, and I wasn't sure I could carry that into a marriage, which was supposedly my next step.
Sooooo...longer story shortened, I'm gay. When all is said and done, my natural self wants to be with a man. The spiritual self isn't so sure, but I don't know that anyone like us would ever be able to put that one to rest. Do I still believe the gospel of Jesus Christ is true? Yes! In fact, I believe it more now that I did before, because I'm now keenly aware of my need for the atonement. The Church is a different story. I still invest in the idea of authority, but I know now that the leaders of the Church, while often inspired, are still just men...fallible men like me, especially on the local level. As far as the marriage thing goes, I just don't see how civil marriage for gay people makes the sacred concept of marriage any less precious or valuable. Frankly, I don't see straight people doing a very good job of keeping that sacred institution sacred.
Anyway, that should be enough to give basis to our discussion. My number is ---------. This week, I'm opening in a small local play, so between that and work, I don't have much time, but could we talk next week? I'm excited to talk with someone with whom I have so much in common!
Be well--
Trent
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