More Shadow Boxing

The Shadow Box opens tonight at the Old Town Actors' Studio. It's been an emotionally harrowing couple of days as final preparations have been made. I don't know why I expected to be emotionally stable when I'm having to repeatedly tell my stage wife I'm going to die. To access the emotions needed to do justice to the character and the text, I'm having to relive related moments in my own life. The fact that a dear, dear friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer last week has made this experience all the more poignant. Thank God her diagnosis wasn't terminal, but still...! To top it off, as I will explain in my next paragraph, I've been riding the roller coaster of new love with all of its accompanying exhilaration and anxiety. My heart is ragged and bruised, and really needs a chance to breathe.

I'm struggling with time, impending death and the fact that I can't stop either of them or make them stand still. I've allowed myself to fall deeply in love with someone significantly younger than me, and although the age difference doesn't bother the two of us, it bothers other people and they are making it difficult for us to just enjoy being together. It's very, very frustrating! I can't help being my age, and I'm not going to apologize to anyone for allowing love into my life. My God! Life is far, far too short to allow potential difficulties to deter us from taking the chances for happiness that come our way.  I'm not ignorant of the possible heartaches in the road ahead, but I refuse to live my life in fear anymore! I lived that way for far too long, and now struggle on a daily basis to change that life pattern by making bold choices and taking reasonable chances. Why can't the world just leave us alone to enjoy the brief time we have together?

For those with eyes to see and hearts to feel, the deeper message here will be clear. As Brian in the Box says: "People tell you you're dying and you say, 'All right.' But if I am dying, I must still be alive!" Instead of elaborating for pages and pages on these themes, I'm going to get up from my glowing screen and go live some life.