I just ended a week-long chat flirtation with a very nice man who was only really interested in my nice arms...and other things. This is important because over the last week and a half, I reverted to some unhealthy behavior I thought I'd left behind me a long time ago. I guess I had forgotten the numbing emptiness that often accompanied such indecency. Apparently, I needed a reminder of why I'd migrated away from the behaviors in the first place. In any case, it felt really good to tell this man, in essence, that I was worth getting to know, and unless he wanted to do that, I was no longer interested in engaging his time or attention. It's also amusing to me that this guy, who had pounced every time I logged into Yahoo since our initial acquaintance, couldn't get away from me fast enough once our exchange verged on becoming real and personal. Some people would say that makes me a tease. I acknowledge their right to an opinion, and am really glad none of them are my friends.
After being treated like a scratching post for so long, mainly because I didn't think I was worth more than that, I'm finally ready to be treated like a human being. I have a lot to offer someone, and I won't settle for anything less than being appreciated for the quirky, loving, frustrating, passionate, tender, profound, caring, obtuse, and sensitive person that I am. I am ready to love and be loved. It's exciting and scary, and it feels good to be ready for it.
Adieu, sir. You SO weren't what I was looking for.
:) I hear you, buddy. Ready for the real thing.
ReplyDelete