This was originally written and posted as a Facebook note on May 6, 2009. I'm posting it here because it relates to the blog topic (and especially the post A Riff on Abinadai)...and because I knew I had written it and couldn't remember where I put it. It marked the beginning of a spiritual re-birth for me, and it was a lesson I'm still learning into my soul. Now, it's where it belongs:
"After reading an essay in the book Peculiar People, I got to
thinking about a verse that has been a sort of talisman of mine for
years. My interpretation of it was basic to my understanding of the
order of things. I understand it differently now and my world is
changed.
Mosiah 3:19 says that "the natural man is an enemy to God." I've
used those words to justify my considerable self-hatred for years. This
morning, for the first time, I looked at the words around that bold
declaration to understand its context. The entire chapter is King
Benjamin's effort to convince the people of Christ's coming, an event
that wasn't yet a fait accompli in this temporal continuum. He was
addressing their "natural" problem believing in things they couldn't
see. Viewed in this way, the carnal condition isn't so much having
desires relating to the flesh as it is being limited by that flesh,
unable to "see" things with an inner, spiritual eye. This spiritual
vision is the only way for us, in our telestial state, to sense Christ
and believe Him. Believing Christ is, of course, crucial to
transcending the conditions of mortality. Those who cling to their
limited mortal sight are condemning themselves to misery and death.
In my set of scriptures, which I have had since I was 12, this verse
is boxed off in red pen. In isolating this verse in my book from the
rest of the words around it, I have done the same thing in my mind and
heart, distorting the verse's deeper meaning. I have wrested the
scriptures without even realizing it. Of course, I had help since this
is a favorite verse for many Church members to quote, ignorantly beating
themselves and their brothers and sisters over the head. Having said
that, I feel a deep need to repent of my lack of trust in Christ's love.
He says over and over not to fear, and that the most important thing
is love. I hope this seemingly subtle paradigm shift will help me to
finally and fully receive Him. I already feel a connection with the me I
thought I had lost, and I have hope."
Monday, July 29, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
Spoiled Tomatoes and Irrational Blame
When I was a kid, I hated raw tomatoes. Their taste and texture made me
squirm, inside and out. Thoughts of eating raw tomatoes made me want to vomit.
Raw tomatoes were icky.
There are those who have the same feelings about gay people. Thoughts of gay people expressing physical affection for each other cause them a visceral reaction. Gay people are labeled an abomination because of this reaction. In other words, gay people are icky.
I am icky. I am an abomination. I am gay.
I first came to understand this connection when I looked up the word "abomination" in the LDS Bible Dictionary. There I found that an abomination is "an object that excites loathing." It goes on to say that the "word is also used to denote any heathen or immoral practice; also the flesh of prohibited animals." As I recently found out, that definition traces the history of the word.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the English root abominable was first seen with this spelling as a French word derived from the Latin abominabilis. That Latin word in its active form is abominari. The first word means "deserving imprecation or abhorrence." The second means "to deprecate as an ill omen." (The words imprecate and deprecate both deal with prayer to a higher power, usually to ward something off.) Dissected further, ab means "away" or "off" and omin is a cognate of the English word omen. So, originally, if something was abominable, it was a bad omen and the superstitious Romans would pray to the gods for it to be driven away or destroyed.
Thus, according to this usage of “abomination,” gay people are an ill omen, signifying society's downfall, rather than actually bringing it about, as they’ve been accused. They are merely a symptom of the disease. The destruction of a civilization usually involves devastating pain and heartache, so it's understandable that people would be afraid. Even generations afterward, traces of a cataclysm can be seen in people, such as hoarding in the grandchildren of those who lived through the Great Depression. However, those pointing the fingers should take a good, hard look at themselves since greed and the corruption it inspires are the true culprits when any civilization crumbles.
In the Middle Ages, the word was also being spelled abhominable which was either derived from or led to an erroneous etymology, ab meaning "away" and homin meaning "man." To act "away from man" was interpreted as doing something beastly. It was this new, altered connotation that found its way into the King James translation of the Bible and has permeated our cultural discourse regarding homosexuality ever since.
Even though there are many icky things, the abomination tag has clung tenaciously and unfairly to homosexuality. (It's a little ironic since, in the case of gay men, it's an attraction to men that's the issue.) Basically, a bunch of Medieval scholars and theologians, when translating the Bible, had a gut feeling that gay people were icky, as well as the lightning rod for God’s wrath in any society’s demise, so that meant that God thought gay people were icky and had better be killed or their cooties would spread. I wonder how many times the visceral reactions of straight “holy men” have been misinterpreted as inspiration from God.
Spencer W. Kimball, former president of the LDS church wrote: "Homosexuality is an ugly sin, repugnant to those who find no temptation in it, as well as to many past offenders who are seeking a way out of its clutches." (The Miracle of Forgiveness, pg. 78) He, of course, used scripture such as Lev. 20:13 to support his point. At one point in my life, I was one of those past offenders who found the gay in me repugnant, which is a nice way to say I hated myself. This is how I get why many people hate me, too.
But gut reactions are tricky things. They are often good to follow, but they are also often misleading, causing us to run straight into danger or preventing us from taking chances that result in great things. Tomatoes, as it turns out, are very nutritious and quite tasty, even raw. The trick is not to refrigerate them because it changes their taste and texture. In the same way, gay people are often integral, contributing members of a healthy society. A few are occasionally spoiled, but as the Osmonds sang so long ago, “One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch.” Fewer gay people would spoil if they weren’t bruised by the heavy “abomination” label, chilled out of society by an unreasonable aversion. More often than not, when someone gets to know a gay person that hasn’t been embittered by persecution or made defensive by labels, they come to enjoy that person’s company and value what they have to contribute to the community.
Maybe I'm not that icky after all.
There are those who have the same feelings about gay people. Thoughts of gay people expressing physical affection for each other cause them a visceral reaction. Gay people are labeled an abomination because of this reaction. In other words, gay people are icky.
I am icky. I am an abomination. I am gay.
I first came to understand this connection when I looked up the word "abomination" in the LDS Bible Dictionary. There I found that an abomination is "an object that excites loathing." It goes on to say that the "word is also used to denote any heathen or immoral practice; also the flesh of prohibited animals." As I recently found out, that definition traces the history of the word.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the English root abominable was first seen with this spelling as a French word derived from the Latin abominabilis. That Latin word in its active form is abominari. The first word means "deserving imprecation or abhorrence." The second means "to deprecate as an ill omen." (The words imprecate and deprecate both deal with prayer to a higher power, usually to ward something off.) Dissected further, ab means "away" or "off" and omin is a cognate of the English word omen. So, originally, if something was abominable, it was a bad omen and the superstitious Romans would pray to the gods for it to be driven away or destroyed.
Thus, according to this usage of “abomination,” gay people are an ill omen, signifying society's downfall, rather than actually bringing it about, as they’ve been accused. They are merely a symptom of the disease. The destruction of a civilization usually involves devastating pain and heartache, so it's understandable that people would be afraid. Even generations afterward, traces of a cataclysm can be seen in people, such as hoarding in the grandchildren of those who lived through the Great Depression. However, those pointing the fingers should take a good, hard look at themselves since greed and the corruption it inspires are the true culprits when any civilization crumbles.
In the Middle Ages, the word was also being spelled abhominable which was either derived from or led to an erroneous etymology, ab meaning "away" and homin meaning "man." To act "away from man" was interpreted as doing something beastly. It was this new, altered connotation that found its way into the King James translation of the Bible and has permeated our cultural discourse regarding homosexuality ever since.
Even though there are many icky things, the abomination tag has clung tenaciously and unfairly to homosexuality. (It's a little ironic since, in the case of gay men, it's an attraction to men that's the issue.) Basically, a bunch of Medieval scholars and theologians, when translating the Bible, had a gut feeling that gay people were icky, as well as the lightning rod for God’s wrath in any society’s demise, so that meant that God thought gay people were icky and had better be killed or their cooties would spread. I wonder how many times the visceral reactions of straight “holy men” have been misinterpreted as inspiration from God.
Spencer W. Kimball, former president of the LDS church wrote: "Homosexuality is an ugly sin, repugnant to those who find no temptation in it, as well as to many past offenders who are seeking a way out of its clutches." (The Miracle of Forgiveness, pg. 78) He, of course, used scripture such as Lev. 20:13 to support his point. At one point in my life, I was one of those past offenders who found the gay in me repugnant, which is a nice way to say I hated myself. This is how I get why many people hate me, too.
But gut reactions are tricky things. They are often good to follow, but they are also often misleading, causing us to run straight into danger or preventing us from taking chances that result in great things. Tomatoes, as it turns out, are very nutritious and quite tasty, even raw. The trick is not to refrigerate them because it changes their taste and texture. In the same way, gay people are often integral, contributing members of a healthy society. A few are occasionally spoiled, but as the Osmonds sang so long ago, “One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch.” Fewer gay people would spoil if they weren’t bruised by the heavy “abomination” label, chilled out of society by an unreasonable aversion. More often than not, when someone gets to know a gay person that hasn’t been embittered by persecution or made defensive by labels, they come to enjoy that person’s company and value what they have to contribute to the community.
Maybe I'm not that icky after all.
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